HELP!!! Two babies, no naps, and a mother losing her mind!

Like I've said, the first nine months were smooth sailing. But the last two have been miserable! I CANNOT get my girls to take naps anymore unless I'm driving. While it is very nice that they’re able to sleep in the car, the whole driving thing is old. I’ve put more miles on my car in the last month than my husband who has a commute and does outside sales. My transmission slips when shifting from first to second gear and though I’ve been told my car won’t just break down, it will continue to get worse until one day it no longer starts, I still have visions of me, the girls, side of the road and smoke streaming from my engine. That would really suck! All of a sudden an hour and a half of crying through a nap isn’t looking so bad.

I’ve tried everything. White noise, separating the girls, letting them cry it out, putting them down with a toy, wake periods of three hours (too long), two and a half hours (too long), and two hours (are you kidding me, they’re almost one and they can’t stay up for longer than two hours?). I even called the doctor, whom I adore, but he had nothing to offer. It just isn’t happening and I’m losing my mind.

I haven’t had a break for as long as I can remember. My husband is wonderful and insists I get out of the house on weekends, encouraged my signing up for the interior design classes (by the way, my teacher farted in class on Monday, more on that to follow), but there is little he can do to help during the week, and I need help. Do I put them in daycare one day a week and let the daycare staff deal with them? I can see it now, “11 month old twins kicked out of local preschool for not napping. Their return is not likely.” I just don’t know.

So, as I sit in my living room writing, trying to ignore the screams from above, I plead for someone out there to help me. Does anyone have any advice?

Step 1

In effort to "find myself" I enrolled in some continuing ed. classes at the junior college near my house. My first class was last night, Interior Design 1: Lighting. My husband got home from work early and I was off. Quick detour to the Wendy's drive thru...I NEVER ate fast food before I had kids...and off to school I went. I was giddy walking from my car to class. I couldn't contain my smile as I passed the other students in the hall, in fact, I was actually laughing.

Unfortunately, my class ended up only being so-so. I was expecting my teacher to be young, and well dressed with amazing accessories. She was more like Rose from the "Golden Girls". Old, awful suit, and the icing on the cake, she walked with a cane. Though very charming, she wasn't exactly what I had in mind. She spent far too much time on definitions and far too little time on, "a floor lamp would look really cute here..." I did learn that manufacturers now make CFL light bulbs that put out better light than the incandescents I have throughout my house. That will surely help my $250 Xcel bill, but won't do much for the overall look of my home. Oh well. Next week: Art and Accessories.

In Summary

I was working as a very unsuccessful realtor when I got married in June of 2008. It was always a dream of mine to be in real estate, but I had not yet realized that sales isn’t exactly my cup of tea. I now know that there is more to being a good sales person than having an outgoing personality…who knew??? Eight months and only one sale (the purchase of my own home, of course) into my dream career, my interest in real estate faded and my desire to have a baby was quickly taking its place! So my husband and I started trying. It didn’t take long, in fact, I was pregnant the next month. Little did we know I was carrying not one, but TWO, babies!

My due date was May 14, 2009 and I was now on the pregnancy roller coaster. Man, I wish I could have gotten off! I hated being pregnant! I was sick, tired, everything hurt and under the most stress of my life. Long story short, my husband’s niece and nephew (seven and four, respectively) moved in with us my entire second trimester. I left my career as an unsuccessful realtor to become a chauffer. I was driving four hours, much more if it snowed, a day so that the kids could remain in their schools while living at our house in a different district. At six months pregnant I could no longer keep up with the requirements of caring for two small children while carrying twins and the kids moved out. It turned out to be good timing because my babies would be coming much earlier than expected.

March 22nd at 11:16 and 11:18AM my beautiful daughters were born. They were 8 weeks early and spent about five weeks in the NICU. All I will say about this period in time is that I am so thankful for the extraordinary care they received from the NICU nurses and doctors at Boulder Community Hospital. They were WONDERFUL!

It is now 10 ½ months later. My girls are fat and happy and I am losing my mind! The first nine and a half months blew by. My girls were wonderful, did everything they were supposed to. However, the last month has been extremely difficult. My girls have replaced napping with crying and while are still their very easy going selves during wake time, overall sleeping issues have taken a toll on me. That coupled with what can only be described as self neglect over the course of their short lives, I am ready to do something else. I love my daughters dearly, but it is time to reconnect and redefine myself as both a mom and an indivual!